sitting down.. then nothing...
Angiosarcoma -
A type of cancer that begins in the lining of blood vessels. This type of tumor tends to be aggressive, recur locally, and spread widely. It can originate anywhere in the body but is well known to arise in skin, soft tissue, liver, breast, spleen, bone, lung and heart. They are clinically aggressive, difficult to treat, and have a reported 5-year survival rate of less than 20%. Advanced stage at presentation and lack of extensive excision are associated with a higher mortality rate.
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Just this afternoon, as i was about to leave the office, my mom called me. That's when i got the news of a cousin who was just diagnosed with advanced Angiosarcoma. The doctors gave him 9 months to live.. I couldn't remember what my response was.. all i could do was walk back into the office and sit down. And i sat.. for awhile I dun even remember why. My mind was a total blank. Till Joey came in and asked if i was leaving.. I can't remember what i said or even if i said anything to her. But i did got up and out. She went off for a movie.. I went over to my car and just sat there.. again.. I forgot I was even there. I think I was in tears..
Wafi, my cousin on my father side is the same age as I am with a difference on just a few months. We grew up together.. we did and played with everything together. Always up for a "secret mission" and always ending up in trouble. He'll be the one I'll point my finger at when we do. But I'll be the one getting the beating anyway.. He was the good one. Now I look back and realise how we've lost contact with each other since i moved to Singapore only meeting on special occasions like Hari Raya or the anniversary of my gramma's death. But even then, we hardly talk to each other. Now this.. To think that our next meeting is because of this.. it's hurts.. it really does..
I needed something.. a friend.. someone.. to just tell me it'll be ok. To kinda wake me up.. but there was no one.. no one knew.. And i couldn't bring myself to say anything to anyone.. I went on autopilot and just started driving.. I had to be around people. I thought a movie would be good.. movies celebrates life.. I thought it'll help me forget or at least distracted.. but all was sold out or too late. So i just walked around lost and undecided. I was sitting down on a bench when Joey called.. and she sang. she sung something.. but I couldn't make out what it was.. But she sang.. after telling me time and time again how she can't. She did.. on her way to meet her date i think. She looked nice today. As always.. coordinated and pleasant. I don't know if i said anything then.. but thank you, Joey.. thank you so much..
I hate this feeling.. of being here.. of just existing not able to do anything. It's happened before with her.. with Farah.. now again.. I'm in a whole mix of emotions.. unstable and sad. Lost.
I'm sorry..
A type of cancer that begins in the lining of blood vessels. This type of tumor tends to be aggressive, recur locally, and spread widely. It can originate anywhere in the body but is well known to arise in skin, soft tissue, liver, breast, spleen, bone, lung and heart. They are clinically aggressive, difficult to treat, and have a reported 5-year survival rate of less than 20%. Advanced stage at presentation and lack of extensive excision are associated with a higher mortality rate.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just this afternoon, as i was about to leave the office, my mom called me. That's when i got the news of a cousin who was just diagnosed with advanced Angiosarcoma. The doctors gave him 9 months to live.. I couldn't remember what my response was.. all i could do was walk back into the office and sit down. And i sat.. for awhile I dun even remember why. My mind was a total blank. Till Joey came in and asked if i was leaving.. I can't remember what i said or even if i said anything to her. But i did got up and out. She went off for a movie.. I went over to my car and just sat there.. again.. I forgot I was even there. I think I was in tears..
Wafi, my cousin on my father side is the same age as I am with a difference on just a few months. We grew up together.. we did and played with everything together. Always up for a "secret mission" and always ending up in trouble. He'll be the one I'll point my finger at when we do. But I'll be the one getting the beating anyway.. He was the good one. Now I look back and realise how we've lost contact with each other since i moved to Singapore only meeting on special occasions like Hari Raya or the anniversary of my gramma's death. But even then, we hardly talk to each other. Now this.. To think that our next meeting is because of this.. it's hurts.. it really does..
I needed something.. a friend.. someone.. to just tell me it'll be ok. To kinda wake me up.. but there was no one.. no one knew.. And i couldn't bring myself to say anything to anyone.. I went on autopilot and just started driving.. I had to be around people. I thought a movie would be good.. movies celebrates life.. I thought it'll help me forget or at least distracted.. but all was sold out or too late. So i just walked around lost and undecided. I was sitting down on a bench when Joey called.. and she sang. she sung something.. but I couldn't make out what it was.. But she sang.. after telling me time and time again how she can't. She did.. on her way to meet her date i think. She looked nice today. As always.. coordinated and pleasant. I don't know if i said anything then.. but thank you, Joey.. thank you so much..
I hate this feeling.. of being here.. of just existing not able to do anything. It's happened before with her.. with Farah.. now again.. I'm in a whole mix of emotions.. unstable and sad. Lost.
I'm sorry..
